Monday, October 31, 2011

Now This Is How You Review a Beer...

Recently, our photographer, Joe Reiter, had the distinct pleasure of trying our Falcor White and our brand new Cake Eater (never officially offered to the public). Joe, best known for being the lead singer of the popular Los Angeles cover band, 88mph, is also known for his impressive palette. We receive a lot of positive reviews for our beer but this is one we just had to post.....


"I will begin by saying this: there are (almost) no words to describe Cake Eater. Below, find my impressions in gay-ish beer review format.

Cake Eater, by the Neverending Beer Factory

What can I say? I’m lost, now. If this was the only bottle of this stuff ever brewed, it would be one too many – man should not have glimpsed this beer, for it will forever be an obsession. This is the Prometheus of beers. Coffee, brown sugar? My brain screams “Caramel malts!” but that’s not enough to explain what’s going on here. How can this much complexity fit into a 12 ounce bottle? Black ales will run and hide when a bottle of Cake Eater enters the room; smoky, syrupy but not cloying – this is a
porter, indeed, of titanic proportions. Plaid flannel shirt, leather boots and a big-ass axe kind of porter. Black as night, it sucks all the light from the room. But swirl it in the glass, and light shining through the legs has the color of molasses, and for the briefest moment as the glass empties there’s a hint of a rainbow comprising all the hues of brown running across the bottom. Infra-brown. Modest gravity, mild (15-25 IBU) perhaps 8% ABV?

(aside: Good fricking shit, man, NBF has
got to sell this beer. I told the wife the story of Cake Eater (and the culinary intent in brewing it); she took her first sip as I finished the words, “...chocolate cake,” and she looked up at me with a “Holy crap, it’s cake!” look on her face. I had to sit down after drinking it. And now the bottle is empty. I am a cursed man. With a second bottle I could write a proper review...)
Falcor White, by the Neverending Beer Factory

Let’s face it, there is nothing about serious drinking that makes it okay to order a Hoegaarden anymore. And although it’s fine if your friend wants to pick up a sixer of Blue Moon at the Albertson’s, you’ll obviously have to stop hanging out with him immediately afterward. Amidst the many traditional approaches to hefeweizen brewing, one would expect certain flavors (coriander, orange, etc.) to be an inescapable component of the flavor of these types of brew. That’s why Falcor White is a punch in the face. In a good way. The label speaks of mugwort and wormwood (holy crap, don’t they make absinthe from that?), but that’s only the beginning. Just before the sip, there’s a hint of volatiles in the nose that speaks heavily of the wheat and barley that brought this beer to life; naturally, a whiff of aldehyde, so deliciously teetering on the razor’s edge of sourness, reminds us of the yeast that still converts sugars even as we drink it. This beer is a magical spell, that somehow reads the mind of the drinker: sip it quickly, and the back of the throat tells the story of bitter spices with a citrus note; savor it slowly, lying on the tongue, and there’s a richness to it that belies its light body and easy drinkability. That middle note, warmed by the mouth and lifted against the palate, makes it seem malty, almost
bock-y in its layered complexity. What the $#@! are these guys doing with this recipe? You can ask them, but I don’t think they’re telling.

(aside: To begin with, I am unspeakably grateful that the world wavefunction collapsed in such a way that I was able to sample this brew at room temperature before finally enjoying it properly chilled. Okay, my friend, this is a clear winner. I think it should be entered into a festival or discussed with the proprietor of Lucky Baldwin’s for contention in their annual Belgian Beer Fest. No, I’m not kidding; bring him a tallboy and wear your best smile. And I wasn’t just yanking myself about that bocky comment – this could go all the way in that direction and come out shining. Could be interesting. And the wife is now convinced you make real beer, so that’s a hell of a thing. We’re two bottles deep on the Falcor sixer and that’s a dangerous thing. We had a “Cake sandwich”, with Falcor on both sides. If you think that didn’t do something good for the perception of that second bottle, you’re $#@!ing wrong. The Falcor review came spilling out at that point. Hmm; there could be something there – definitely gotta throw Cake Eater into the 5-glass flights you offer when you do brewery tastings.)


j."

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

You Can't Win Them All


Hi, we’re back.


In the past few years of brewing beer and researching ways to make our dream brewery a reality we’ve had plenty of success and some failures - I’m talking about bad batches, broken equipment, stained stovetops, pissed off wives, and broken promises. Occasionally, the planets align in a terrible way and the cosmos prevent you from succeeding.  Let’s take a look at the darkest time of the beer factory, in a non-chronological order, a time we will always remember as The Summer of 2011…….

Let’s start off by explaining a few things:
1.     We brew all of our beer in Pasadena or Santa Clarita. The problem here lies in the fact that we do not have thermal control capabilities in our Pasadena location and our Santa Clarita location was down for a solid month (the brewmaster there was in escrow and living out of a hotel).
2.     Summer can be ugly for brewing. The heat and the sun have negative effects on the hops and yeast. All fermenting beer must be kept cool and out of the light as much as possible.

Okay, did you get that? Summer = bad, and facilities…..well, what facilities?

So, a few months ago, we were commissioned to provide a lot of beer to a party. These beers were custom beers that were crafted to be brewed this one time and never again. We made custom names and labels for each of the three beers (a brown ale, an IPA, and a stout). They were tweaked, mass-marketed versions of beers we already had. While we don’t associate these beers with the Neverending Beer Factory, we did use our facilities to brew them and so this event ended up taking over all of our resources, thus, we have not had many of our staple beers available.

At the same time, we had our much-anticipated Imperial IPA, The Shire, finishing off it’s final fermentation on a dry bed of hop flowers. We had high hopes for this beer as it was not only our most expensive beer but also our most alcoholic (~10.5% ABV), and we tried it before it was completely carbonated and it was delicious. It was also our very first IPA <tear>.

Also, we had Lion-O fermenting in Pasadena and Violet Beauregarde all bottled up and ready for distribution. This was on top of the three beers we produced for the party. So, it seemed like things were going well and we were about to have a lot of product. That’s when the heat waves set in…

Lion-O stalled out. The yeast stopped consuming the fermentable sugars and we ended up with a low-alcohol beer. This could’ve been the result of a number of things but we suspect the heat played some part. We decided to repitch yeast with the hopes of getting back up to the right alcohol level, but that didn’t work. Now we’re left with a “light” version of Lion-O.

The Shire and Violet Beauregarde were held in a maximum-security facility for storage since they were at the (now defunct) Santa Clarita facility and needed to be stored somewhere while the escrow company got their shit together. The storage facility was not temperature controlled and Violet Beauregarde bottles blew up into a delicious, sticky mess of beer everywhere. Well, that sucks, but the Shire seemed to have survived this pressure differential and every bottle was intact. Okay – then maybe there’s still hope, right? Wrong! You see, The Shire was being deceptive all along…… rather than explode in a Seppuku like fashion like it’s cousin, Violet, it decided to go a different route and morph it’s chemical composition into a highly volatile and poisonous concoction that whosoever lay taste to it will surely parish and not have everlasting life” – The Shire 3:16.

The Shire was brewed with an inhumane amount of hops and due to their susceptibility to heat/sun, the beer turned into, well, basically Windex. As much as we’d like to recoup our costs of this expensively produced beer, our hearts could not, in good conscience, serve this to our thousands of loyal followers. Shut up. They’re there.

Now, it looks as though all of the beer factory’s brews have met their demise, but how about the three party beers? Surely, those turned out okay. Wellllll………the stout was good.

During the 2nd week of fermenting the brown ale, right before bottling, when all yeast activity should be complete and the airlock silent, we found a sudden resurgence of yeast activity. The airlock began bubbling and the beer was alive. If you didn’t believe in yeast ghosts before then maybe you should now because this wasn’t supposed to happen according to the brewing laws of physics. The explanation – like I said, yeast ghosts. Upon a nerve-wracking taste test we found the beer to be not-very-good and fairly bubblegummy. Was it drinkable? Depends on the person. If you’re 9 beers deep and you can stomach beers from BJ’s then yes, highly drinkable.

The IPA, our second IPA attempt after The Shire (rest in peace), turned out to be a mild IPA. You could even call it a hoppy amber ale. To the people that do not like IPA’s [raises hand], it was really good. To the IPA lovers expecting an IPA, they were disappointed. Well, whatever. Look, the timeline we had to produce these beers was such that we only got one shot of getting it right. There wasn’t going to be any tweaking of recipes. This was it. And technically, we didn’t even really have enough time. It is well known that to carbonate a beer (the bottle conditioning way) you need a minimum of 7 to 10 days. MINIMUM. By the time the beers had completed fermentation and hit their target %ABV levels, we had 6 days left until the party. We tapped as many brewheads as possible and there was no solution to our dilemma – we would not be able to carbonate the beer in time. This is a problem not just for carbonation, but when a beer has not completed its carbonating phase there is a lot of residual sugar that make the beer sickly sweet. So, we’re dead.

“But wait a second, Brewmasters, I thought the Neverending Beer Factory was a magic place where anything can happen if you believe with all your heart.”

Dammit, Little Timmy, you are right. Instantly we racked our powers of brewing and came up with an experimental idea (WE DON’T RECOMMEND IT) where we would fill the bottles almost completely to the top to increase pressure inside and force carbonation to go faster. We had no idea if it would work and it puts every bottle at risk of exploding….. but we like to live on the edge. If a bottle blew up and triggered all the other bottles to go then at least it would look cool amidst the flying shards of glass. So, yes, that’s what we did……

<flash forward 6 days>

We went to the party. The beers were delivered, announced, and people were routing through them with high hopes. Our stomachs were in knots. We knew the brown ale tasted horrible and so we fashioned a label calling it “Nightmare” and even put warning labels saying “Do Not Drink”. In short summary, the carbonation trick actually worked on the brown ale and the IPA. We were amazed to be honest. BUT, the IPA was so overly carbonated that you could only pour a frothy head and wait 30 minutes for it to bubble back into it’s beer-ish self. Okay, so it kinda worked. At least we now know it’s conceivably feasible to accelerate the carbonation phase. However, the outcome appears to be quite unpredictable.

There you are friends; the Summer of 2011. It’s not all bad, though, as we have a number of surprises coming towards the end of the year that we’ll be discussing later. If you’re interested in hearing the latest announcements or are wondering how you can order some of our Perfect beers, please send an email to brewmasters@theneverendingbeerfactory.com and we will add you to our mailing list.

Brewmasters
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