One-Eyed Willie Porter

Hey you guys!!!

If you’re a child of the 80’s like us, then you love the Goonies – unless you’re Ravi Prakash who falls asleep during the attic scene, but we won’t get into that.  It’s a movie filled with adventure, mystery, and the best dance move of 1985: the Truffle Shuffle.  From setting the jail on fire, all the way to watching The Inferno sail off into the sunset, we were on the edge of our seats.  And this movie was the inspiration for our One-Eyed Willie Porter.

When trying to decide what type of beer One-Eyed Willy would be, we felt that a porter seemed like a pirate drink.  We could imagine ol’ One Eye (as we like to call him) battling a perfect storm with the helm in one hand and a porter in the other laughing maniacally as his crew ran around trying to batten down the hatches before they were swept overboard.  OK, so maybe we put a little too much thought into it, but we’re sure you’ll be glad that we did. 

With porters and stouts being almost like cousins we took a page from our extremely popular Lost Woods and soaked some oak in some hard alcohol.  But instead of whiskey we used the pirate drink of choice, rum.  And instead of American oak we went with French oak, which is more subtle and spicy (and somehow seems more pirate-y).  Also, with One-Eyed Willie getting trapped in 1632 in what became Astoria, Oregon, we used only Oregon hops.

So now that you’ve outran the Fratelli’s, outsmarted Chester Copperpot, and escaped the octopus (if you do not know what this is referring to, close your computer and just quit everything), reward yourself with this pirate favorite.

Brandon: “When I was little I wanted to be like the Goonies – going on adventures, finding buried treasure, sliding down sails with a knife, making big cheesy speeches about how it’s our time, our time down here (shut up, you know you teared up), and using my pinchers of peril (yeah I thought it was pinchers of power too) to stop my fall into a pit of spikes.  There’s no way we weren’t going to make a Goonies themed beer.  And just like the movie this beer gets better every time I drink it.”

Joey: “The Goonies movie is a better movie than your mom’s chocolate chip cookies. Of course The Neverending Beer Factory was going to make a beer for it! One-Eyed Willie is a memorable character, even though he’s pretty dead. He’s way more badass than Jack Sparrow. The beer has to be worthy of such a character, and I truly believe it is. It’s malty, oakey, unique, and tastes like Willie’s rotting eye-patch.  Sloth would be proud. (And no, Brandon, no one thought it was pinchers of power, just you.)”

Do I have to do another blog?

Hey, remember that last blog in January where we said we'd blog every week? Yeah....it's sort of July. Late-July even. Wellp....Rome wasn't built in a day. And although that may not be applicable here, blogging is not really the thing we get excited about when it comes to opening up a brewery.

We noticed that this blog site has received 2,093 views since we started. That's not very much, however, that's about 2,090 more views than we were expecting and so we're going to take this a bit more seriouslyer and blog once every week or so. No, for reals, we're doing it this time.

As I type this, we are brewing beer in the background and updating cost projections in our business plan. We are still hard at work trying to raise enough capital to start the brewery. We're satisfied with our beer recipes, labels, target audiences, potential locations, market data, investment plans, blah blah blah....we're ready! We just need a few benji's. You know the ol saying: mo' money, mo' breweries opening in Burbank this year.

We have big news coming that we can't divulge in the details yet, but if you're not already onboard The Neverending Beer Factory Band Wagon, go Like our Facebook page NOW: https://www.facebook.com/TheNeverendingBeerFactory

Also, email brewmasters@theneverendingbeerfactory.com to get on our email list.

Thank you to everyone that has supported us this far. We remember every single person that has helped us. We're on the cusp of this dream becoming a reality so bear with us for just a little longer and we will soon be announcing the first day the doors to The Beer Factory open up.

Cheers!

Joey and Brandon

Time to start blogging again...

Why, hello there. I didn’t see you come in. Go on…get comfortable. It’s time to relax. And you know what that means. A glass of 1982, your favorite easy chair, and of course, this blog post. So go on, indulge yourself. That’s right! Kick off your shoes, put your feet up. Lean back and just enjoy the esthers. After all, beer soothes even the savage beast…

Okay, since we haven't blogged in a long time, here is a dump of recent events, thoughts, and therapuetic poetry...

Wellp, we totally found the place we want to open up. It’s in Burbank, it’s available, and it’s right off of the I-5 freeway. Yes, it’s spacious hole in the wall but we’re going to put some makeup on it and make that place the Ivory Tower. It’s right across the street from the AMC Theaters. So, that’s good……

But there’s always a but….

Our email went down in December. We’re working with Register.com to get it back up and operational but they completely SUCK! Worst customer service ever! Their answers to our inquiries are short and almost rude, like they’re annoyed that we’re inconveniencing them. 3 weeks without email for a business is unacceptable. They say they’ll have someone contact us but no one has called. I’ve called them. You bet your beautiful blue bonnets I have. They say the wait time to get ahold of someone is 45 minutes and I should leave a message to have them call me right back. If we didnt respond to you during the month of December, it's not because we don't like you, it's this. So, fair warning to all future business owners out there; do NOT use register.com for anything. You have been warned…. 

If you went to the Final 8-Bit Tournament last year, you got to sample our latest new entry: One-Eyed Willie Porter. It’s our tribute to the perfect film, The Goonies. In order to capture the film’s good vibes, we took French Oak chips soaked in Pirate Rum for weeks and then fermented our smoked grains over those chips. We used all Oregon hops. The new brew was well received and is now officially part of The Neverending Beer Factory canon. ßHey! Canon. Kinda like cannon. Like pirates. Pirates use cannons. Like One-Eyed Willie. There’s a joke somewhere there….

And lastly, we’re really going to try and keep to our blog-per-week methods. Our resident blogger was pulled away for months to do some NASA desert testing thing with rockets and stuff. Well, I’m back. It’s hard because when you say you’re going to start a brewery, you don’t expect that social media is part of that. But it is. We need a social mediator…like Cambria from Golden Road Brewing. That girl is all over the place and has, no doubt, contributed to the growing success of that brewery. We need a Cambria….

(Do you like how every paragraph ended with dots? Do you know why I did that? Neither do I. It might indicate that I need help.)

Violet Beauregarde - Blueberry Hefeweizen

Violet! You’re turning violet, Violet!

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’s gum chewing, blueberry turning, Oompa-Loompa juiced character is the inspiration for name of The Neverending Beer Factory’s delicious blueberry hefeweizen.  I know what you’re thinking – “blueberry beer?!?”  But stay with me.  Granted, most beer drinkers are not big fans of fruit in their beer (us included), but that’s because most fruit beers take the fruitiness way too far or manage to combine the flavor of beer and fruit into an reminder of mom’s cough medicine (looking at you Cherry Wheat).  But, if you manage to find the right balance, a fruit beer can be tasty and refreshing.

That was the goal when we set to the task of creating a beer that one of our (typically not a beer fan) wives would enjoy.  She’s a hefeweizen and blueberry fan so we thought of brewing her something like that.  We were very hesitant at first, I mean, there aren’t very many drinkable fruit beers out there, but with our experience we figured if anyone could do it, we could (self high fives).  So with a pot full of wort, cinnamon, and overflowing blueberries, we gave it a shot worthy of Willy Wonka’s praise.

The first pour of our brand new beer was incredible – cloudy, dark purple beer under a light pink head.  I realize that sounds extremely girly, but it’s a blueberry hefeweizen so what did you expect?  The fact that it was a color that we had never seen in a beer before was really cool.  Since she was the one it was brewed for, we let Brenda try it first – she was instantly in love and wouldn’t put the glass down. That was a very good sign, but how would we (or any fruit beer skeptic) react?  We took sips…it was delicious.  The blueberry and cinnamon made it taste like a blueberry pie. But to us, it wasn’t beery enough.  Despite Brenda’s protests, we decided to tweak the recipe a little the second time with a little more cinnamon and a little less blueberry.  Brenda hated it.  So for our third (and what turned out to be final) tweak we found the perfect balance.  It still as the quality that is beer, with a nice hint of blueberries that makes it light and refreshing.  

It’s Brenda’s favorite beer.

Brandon’s quote: “Perfect for a hot summer day, plus a happy wife makes a happy life”

Joey’s quote: “A beer that Sylvester Stallone AND Orlando Bloom can enjoy proves the right balance of masculinity and feminine-arrow-shooting was achieved. Plus, a happy brewery co-owner’s wife makes a happy life.”

2012 UPDATE – Where’s the blog?

Woah! A blog update by The Neverending Beer Factory…something must be a-brew.

Get it? Cuz we’re a brewery and we brew? Nevermind.

Okay, lame jokes aside; we’ve decided to buckle down on this blogging business because we didn’t realize how many hearts this social media method actually reached. Look at the top right corner of this page…..go on now…..see that? 2 followers. That’s why we didn’t put much effort into the blog, however, we’ve heard whispers on the winds of time that millions of people are looking at this page. You think I’m exaggerating? Fine. Billions of people.

THIS MEANS YOU’RE GOING TO GET BLOG UPDATES FROM US ALMOST EVERY WEEK OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!!

Rather than catch you up on everything that happened in 2012 (there’ll be a special little blog post on that at the end of the year), I’ll give you a snapshot of where we are right now. Check this…

We’ve got quotes from all our vendors for the mass of equipment we need to purchase (fermenters, boil kettles, canning lines, glycol chillers,….., everything in the world) and a few lucky locations in Burbank that we are going to be aggressively trying to inhabit. This seems like something as easy as calling a company for a quote but you’re completely wrong about everything. Everything. It’s an iterative process that helps shape what your brewery will look like and, ultimately, your production size.

Our business plan and proposal is shaping up to be rock solid. After collecting market data and researching the brewing industry, we’re more convinced than ever that the Beer Factory is going to be huge. ßI called it. And I will bring this blog up all the time at future parties, saying, “Hey, you guys remember when I predicted the success of the Beer Factory? Oh, I have a printed copy of the blog in my pocket to show you.”

Our logos, labels, and names are all cleared for trademarking! We were worried that we were infringing on rights by using pop culture references and images associated with Willy Wonka, The Neverending Story, or Lost Woods the movie, directed by Phillip and Nathan Ellering on Netflix or at your local Blockbuster (go buy it). But, we’re all clear.

We’re now a recognized “Brewery in planning” by the people that track and record all of the US breweries. I don’t know, I thought it was cool.

I think that’s all I care to mention right now. We’ve got to go get ingredients to brew beer for our super secret tasting event coming up in November. Oops. Now all two followers know that something is happening sometime in November.

Oh, and I know I said I wouldn’t do a recap but I have to congratulate the Mars Science Laboratory Team for the successful landing of Curiosity. The post-landing party took down a keg of 1982 and a keg of Falcor White. Yep, The Neverending Beer Factory: fueling rocket scientists since 2011. 

2011 Year in Review

Yayyyyy, it's the end of 2011 and we're rolling into the apocalyptic 2012 with a roundhouse kick to the Mayan calendar's throat.

The beautiful year of 2011 was beautiful. Beautifully, we first unveiled our brewery name and logo to the masses via Facebook in spring. Since then we've been brewing non-stop for loyal followers, tasting events, and providing custom beers to catered parties. It was fun and exhausting (bottling Falcor White at 2:45am isn't that fun). Come...let's take a look at some HIGHLIGHTS!!!

• Debuted 1982, Violet Beauregard, Lost Woods, Lion-O, Cake Eater, Falcor White, The Shire, and The Christmas Beer.
• Dude, that's a lot of beer styles! We've spent 7.9e12 hours consistently trying to perfect a recipe before introducing it to the public. As hard as it is to keep adjusting a recipe, it's worth it.
• Provided beer for a NASA Jet Propulsion Lab party and the notorious San Martin Christmas Crush.
• The Jet Propulsion party had us make 3 custom beers based on the three successful field tests for the Mars Science Laboratory - an amber, an IPA, and a stout.
• We debuted the Christmas beer at the Christmas Crush and due to its popularity, we inducted it into our seasonal brew lineup. 
• Began kegging our beers for specific events.
• Held a sample tasting event at Disney Animation Studios.
• We brought cases of 1982, Violet Beauregard, Falcor White, Lion-O, Lost Woods, and The Shire for tastings and left without a single bottle.
• Brought on another crazy brewer to the team, Lance Summers.
• Invented time travel.

Yeah, so, it's been a great year for us. 2012 should be epically more epic. If all goes well, we'll be purchasing the brewery facility later next year. Neat, right? 

Our next big event is the annual 8-Bit Tournament on February 25th, where we will be doing sample tastings of many of our beers. Be there or suck.

Cheers everyone and happy New Year!

The Neverending Beer Factory

Oh, and one more thing...congratulate those brewers, Brandon and Joey, on the launch of their spacecraft, Mars Science Laboratory, which lands on the red planet on August 6th, 2012.

Now This Is How You Review a Beer...

Recently, our photographer, Joe Reiter, had the distinct pleasure of trying our Falcor White and our brand new Cake Eater (never officially offered to the public). Joe, best known for being the lead singer of the popular Los Angeles cover band, 88mph, is also known for his impressive palette. We receive a lot of positive reviews for our beer but this is one we just had to post.....


"I will begin by saying this: there are (almost) no words to describe Cake Eater. Below, find my impressions in gay-ish beer review format.

Cake Eater, by the Neverending Beer Factory

What can I say? I’m lost, now. If this was the only bottle of this stuff ever brewed, it would be one too many – man should not have glimpsed this beer, for it will forever be an obsession. This is the Prometheus of beers. Coffee, brown sugar? My brain screams “Caramel malts!” but that’s not enough to explain what’s going on here. How can this much complexity fit into a 12 ounce bottle? Black ales will run and hide when a bottle of Cake Eater enters the room; smoky, syrupy but not cloying – this is a porter, indeed, of titanic proportions. Plaid flannel shirt, leather boots and a big-ass axe kind of porter. Black as night, it sucks all the light from the room. But swirl it in the glass, and light shining through the legs has the color of molasses, and for the briefest moment as the glass empties there’s a hint of a rainbow comprising all the hues of brown running across the bottom. Infra-brown. Modest gravity, mild (15-25 IBU) perhaps 8% ABV?

(aside: Good fricking shit, man, NBF has got to sell this beer. I told the wife the story of Cake Eater (and the culinary intent in brewing it); she took her first sip as I finished the words, “...chocolate cake,” and she looked up at me with a “Holy crap, it’s cake!” look on her face. I had to sit down after drinking it. And now the bottle is empty. I am a cursed man. With a second bottle I could write a proper review...)
Falcor White, by the Neverending Beer Factory

Let’s face it, there is nothing about serious drinking that makes it okay to order a Hoegaarden anymore. And although it’s fine if your friend wants to pick up a sixer of Blue Moon at the Albertson’s, you’ll obviously have to stop hanging out with him immediately afterward. Amidst the many traditional approaches to hefeweizen brewing, one would expect certain flavors (coriander, orange, etc.) to be an inescapable component of the flavor of these types of brew. That’s why Falcor White is a punch in the face. In a good way. The label speaks of mugwort and wormwood (holy crap, don’t they make absinthe from that?), but that’s only the beginning. Just before the sip, there’s a hint of volatiles in the nose that speaks heavily of the wheat and barley that brought this beer to life; naturally, a whiff of aldehyde, so deliciously teetering on the razor’s edge of sourness, reminds us of the yeast that still converts sugars even as we drink it. This beer is a magical spell, that somehow reads the mind of the drinker: sip it quickly, and the back of the throat tells the story of bitter spices with a citrus note; savor it slowly, lying on the tongue, and there’s a richness to it that belies its light body and easy drinkability. That middle note, warmed by the mouth and lifted against the palate, makes it seem malty, almost bock-y in its layered complexity. What the $#@! are these guys doing with this recipe? You can ask them, but I don’t think they’re telling.

(aside: To begin with, I am unspeakably grateful that the world wavefunction collapsed in such a way that I was able to sample this brew at room temperature before finally enjoying it properly chilled. Okay, my friend, this is a clear winner. I think it should be entered into a festival or discussed with the proprietor of Lucky Baldwin’s for contention in their annual Belgian Beer Fest. No, I’m not kidding; bring him a tallboy and wear your best smile. And I wasn’t just yanking myself about that bocky comment – this could go all the way in that direction and come out shining. Could be interesting. And the wife is now convinced you make real beer, so that’s a hell of a thing. We’re two bottles deep on the Falcor sixer and that’s a dangerous thing. We had a “Cake sandwich”, with Falcor on both sides. If you think that didn’t do something good for the perception of that second bottle, you’re $#@!ing wrong. The Falcor review came spilling out at that point. Hmm; there could be something there – definitely gotta throw Cake Eater into the 5-glass flights you offer when you do brewery tastings.)


j."