One-Eyed Willie Porter

Hey you guys!!!

If you’re a child of the 80’s like us, then you love the Goonies – unless you’re Ravi Prakash who falls asleep during the attic scene, but we won’t get into that.  It’s a movie filled with adventure, mystery, and the best dance move of 1985: the Truffle Shuffle.  From setting the jail on fire, all the way to watching The Inferno sail off into the sunset, we were on the edge of our seats.  And this movie was the inspiration for our One-Eyed Willie Porter.

When trying to decide what type of beer One-Eyed Willy would be, we felt that a porter seemed like a pirate drink.  We could imagine ol’ One Eye (as we like to call him) battling a perfect storm with the helm in one hand and a porter in the other laughing maniacally as his crew ran around trying to batten down the hatches before they were swept overboard.  OK, so maybe we put a little too much thought into it, but we’re sure you’ll be glad that we did. 

With porters and stouts being almost like cousins we took a page from our extremely popular Lost Woods and soaked some oak in some hard alcohol.  But instead of whiskey we used the pirate drink of choice, rum.  And instead of American oak we went with French oak, which is more subtle and spicy (and somehow seems more pirate-y).  Also, with One-Eyed Willie getting trapped in 1632 in what became Astoria, Oregon, we used only Oregon hops.

So now that you’ve outran the Fratelli’s, outsmarted Chester Copperpot, and escaped the octopus (if you do not know what this is referring to, close your computer and just quit everything), reward yourself with this pirate favorite.

Brandon: “When I was little I wanted to be like the Goonies – going on adventures, finding buried treasure, sliding down sails with a knife, making big cheesy speeches about how it’s our time, our time down here (shut up, you know you teared up), and using my pinchers of peril (yeah I thought it was pinchers of power too) to stop my fall into a pit of spikes.  There’s no way we weren’t going to make a Goonies themed beer.  And just like the movie this beer gets better every time I drink it.”

Joey: “The Goonies movie is a better movie than your mom’s chocolate chip cookies. Of course The Neverending Beer Factory was going to make a beer for it! One-Eyed Willie is a memorable character, even though he’s pretty dead. He’s way more badass than Jack Sparrow. The beer has to be worthy of such a character, and I truly believe it is. It’s malty, oakey, unique, and tastes like Willie’s rotting eye-patch.  Sloth would be proud. (And no, Brandon, no one thought it was pinchers of power, just you.)”

Do I have to do another blog?

Hey, remember that last blog in January where we said we'd blog every week? Yeah....it's sort of July. Late-July even. Wellp....Rome wasn't built in a day. And although that may not be applicable here, blogging is not really the thing we get excited about when it comes to opening up a brewery.

We noticed that this blog site has received 2,093 views since we started. That's not very much, however, that's about 2,090 more views than we were expecting and so we're going to take this a bit more seriouslyer and blog once every week or so. No, for reals, we're doing it this time.

As I type this, we are brewing beer in the background and updating cost projections in our business plan. We are still hard at work trying to raise enough capital to start the brewery. We're satisfied with our beer recipes, labels, target audiences, potential locations, market data, investment plans, blah blah blah....we're ready! We just need a few benji's. You know the ol saying: mo' money, mo' breweries opening in Burbank this year.

We have big news coming that we can't divulge in the details yet, but if you're not already onboard The Neverending Beer Factory Band Wagon, go Like our Facebook page NOW: https://www.facebook.com/TheNeverendingBeerFactory

Also, email brewmasters@theneverendingbeerfactory.com to get on our email list.

Thank you to everyone that has supported us this far. We remember every single person that has helped us. We're on the cusp of this dream becoming a reality so bear with us for just a little longer and we will soon be announcing the first day the doors to The Beer Factory open up.

Cheers!

Joey and Brandon

Time to start blogging again...

Why, hello there. I didn’t see you come in. Go on…get comfortable. It’s time to relax. And you know what that means. A glass of 1982, your favorite easy chair, and of course, this blog post. So go on, indulge yourself. That’s right! Kick off your shoes, put your feet up. Lean back and just enjoy the esthers. After all, beer soothes even the savage beast…

Okay, since we haven't blogged in a long time, here is a dump of recent events, thoughts, and therapuetic poetry...

Wellp, we totally found the place we want to open up. It’s in Burbank, it’s available, and it’s right off of the I-5 freeway. Yes, it’s spacious hole in the wall but we’re going to put some makeup on it and make that place the Ivory Tower. It’s right across the street from the AMC Theaters. So, that’s good……

But there’s always a but….

Our email went down in December. We’re working with Register.com to get it back up and operational but they completely SUCK! Worst customer service ever! Their answers to our inquiries are short and almost rude, like they’re annoyed that we’re inconveniencing them. 3 weeks without email for a business is unacceptable. They say they’ll have someone contact us but no one has called. I’ve called them. You bet your beautiful blue bonnets I have. They say the wait time to get ahold of someone is 45 minutes and I should leave a message to have them call me right back. If we didnt respond to you during the month of December, it's not because we don't like you, it's this. So, fair warning to all future business owners out there; do NOT use register.com for anything. You have been warned…. 

If you went to the Final 8-Bit Tournament last year, you got to sample our latest new entry: One-Eyed Willie Porter. It’s our tribute to the perfect film, The Goonies. In order to capture the film’s good vibes, we took French Oak chips soaked in Pirate Rum for weeks and then fermented our smoked grains over those chips. We used all Oregon hops. The new brew was well received and is now officially part of The Neverending Beer Factory canon. ßHey! Canon. Kinda like cannon. Like pirates. Pirates use cannons. Like One-Eyed Willie. There’s a joke somewhere there….

And lastly, we’re really going to try and keep to our blog-per-week methods. Our resident blogger was pulled away for months to do some NASA desert testing thing with rockets and stuff. Well, I’m back. It’s hard because when you say you’re going to start a brewery, you don’t expect that social media is part of that. But it is. We need a social mediator…like Cambria from Golden Road Brewing. That girl is all over the place and has, no doubt, contributed to the growing success of that brewery. We need a Cambria….

(Do you like how every paragraph ended with dots? Do you know why I did that? Neither do I. It might indicate that I need help.)