Time to start blogging again...

Why, hello there. I didn’t see you come in. Go on…get comfortable. It’s time to relax. And you know what that means. A glass of 1982, your favorite easy chair, and of course, this blog post. So go on, indulge yourself. That’s right! Kick off your shoes, put your feet up. Lean back and just enjoy the esthers. After all, beer soothes even the savage beast…

Okay, since we haven't blogged in a long time, here is a dump of recent events, thoughts, and therapuetic poetry...

Wellp, we totally found the place we want to open up. It’s in Burbank, it’s available, and it’s right off of the I-5 freeway. Yes, it’s spacious hole in the wall but we’re going to put some makeup on it and make that place the Ivory Tower. It’s right across the street from the AMC Theaters. So, that’s good……

But there’s always a but….

Our email went down in December. We’re working with Register.com to get it back up and operational but they completely SUCK! Worst customer service ever! Their answers to our inquiries are short and almost rude, like they’re annoyed that we’re inconveniencing them. 3 weeks without email for a business is unacceptable. They say they’ll have someone contact us but no one has called. I’ve called them. You bet your beautiful blue bonnets I have. They say the wait time to get ahold of someone is 45 minutes and I should leave a message to have them call me right back. If we didnt respond to you during the month of December, it's not because we don't like you, it's this. So, fair warning to all future business owners out there; do NOT use register.com for anything. You have been warned…. 

If you went to the Final 8-Bit Tournament last year, you got to sample our latest new entry: One-Eyed Willie Porter. It’s our tribute to the perfect film, The Goonies. In order to capture the film’s good vibes, we took French Oak chips soaked in Pirate Rum for weeks and then fermented our smoked grains over those chips. We used all Oregon hops. The new brew was well received and is now officially part of The Neverending Beer Factory canon. ßHey! Canon. Kinda like cannon. Like pirates. Pirates use cannons. Like One-Eyed Willie. There’s a joke somewhere there….

And lastly, we’re really going to try and keep to our blog-per-week methods. Our resident blogger was pulled away for months to do some NASA desert testing thing with rockets and stuff. Well, I’m back. It’s hard because when you say you’re going to start a brewery, you don’t expect that social media is part of that. But it is. We need a social mediator…like Cambria from Golden Road Brewing. That girl is all over the place and has, no doubt, contributed to the growing success of that brewery. We need a Cambria….

(Do you like how every paragraph ended with dots? Do you know why I did that? Neither do I. It might indicate that I need help.)

Violet Beauregarde - Blueberry Hefeweizen

Violet! You’re turning violet, Violet!

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’s gum chewing, blueberry turning, Oompa-Loompa juiced character is the inspiration for name of The Neverending Beer Factory’s delicious blueberry hefeweizen.  I know what you’re thinking – “blueberry beer?!?”  But stay with me.  Granted, most beer drinkers are not big fans of fruit in their beer (us included), but that’s because most fruit beers take the fruitiness way too far or manage to combine the flavor of beer and fruit into an reminder of mom’s cough medicine (looking at you Cherry Wheat).  But, if you manage to find the right balance, a fruit beer can be tasty and refreshing.

That was the goal when we set to the task of creating a beer that one of our (typically not a beer fan) wives would enjoy.  She’s a hefeweizen and blueberry fan so we thought of brewing her something like that.  We were very hesitant at first, I mean, there aren’t very many drinkable fruit beers out there, but with our experience we figured if anyone could do it, we could (self high fives).  So with a pot full of wort, cinnamon, and overflowing blueberries, we gave it a shot worthy of Willy Wonka’s praise.

The first pour of our brand new beer was incredible – cloudy, dark purple beer under a light pink head.  I realize that sounds extremely girly, but it’s a blueberry hefeweizen so what did you expect?  The fact that it was a color that we had never seen in a beer before was really cool.  Since she was the one it was brewed for, we let Brenda try it first – she was instantly in love and wouldn’t put the glass down. That was a very good sign, but how would we (or any fruit beer skeptic) react?  We took sips…it was delicious.  The blueberry and cinnamon made it taste like a blueberry pie. But to us, it wasn’t beery enough.  Despite Brenda’s protests, we decided to tweak the recipe a little the second time with a little more cinnamon and a little less blueberry.  Brenda hated it.  So for our third (and what turned out to be final) tweak we found the perfect balance.  It still as the quality that is beer, with a nice hint of blueberries that makes it light and refreshing.  

It’s Brenda’s favorite beer.

Brandon’s quote: “Perfect for a hot summer day, plus a happy wife makes a happy life”

Joey’s quote: “A beer that Sylvester Stallone AND Orlando Bloom can enjoy proves the right balance of masculinity and feminine-arrow-shooting was achieved. Plus, a happy brewery co-owner’s wife makes a happy life.”

2012 UPDATE – Where’s the blog?

Woah! A blog update by The Neverending Beer Factory…something must be a-brew.

Get it? Cuz we’re a brewery and we brew? Nevermind.

Okay, lame jokes aside; we’ve decided to buckle down on this blogging business because we didn’t realize how many hearts this social media method actually reached. Look at the top right corner of this page…..go on now…..see that? 2 followers. That’s why we didn’t put much effort into the blog, however, we’ve heard whispers on the winds of time that millions of people are looking at this page. You think I’m exaggerating? Fine. Billions of people.

THIS MEANS YOU’RE GOING TO GET BLOG UPDATES FROM US ALMOST EVERY WEEK OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!!

Rather than catch you up on everything that happened in 2012 (there’ll be a special little blog post on that at the end of the year), I’ll give you a snapshot of where we are right now. Check this…

We’ve got quotes from all our vendors for the mass of equipment we need to purchase (fermenters, boil kettles, canning lines, glycol chillers,….., everything in the world) and a few lucky locations in Burbank that we are going to be aggressively trying to inhabit. This seems like something as easy as calling a company for a quote but you’re completely wrong about everything. Everything. It’s an iterative process that helps shape what your brewery will look like and, ultimately, your production size.

Our business plan and proposal is shaping up to be rock solid. After collecting market data and researching the brewing industry, we’re more convinced than ever that the Beer Factory is going to be huge. ßI called it. And I will bring this blog up all the time at future parties, saying, “Hey, you guys remember when I predicted the success of the Beer Factory? Oh, I have a printed copy of the blog in my pocket to show you.”

Our logos, labels, and names are all cleared for trademarking! We were worried that we were infringing on rights by using pop culture references and images associated with Willy Wonka, The Neverending Story, or Lost Woods the movie, directed by Phillip and Nathan Ellering on Netflix or at your local Blockbuster (go buy it). But, we’re all clear.

We’re now a recognized “Brewery in planning” by the people that track and record all of the US breweries. I don’t know, I thought it was cool.

I think that’s all I care to mention right now. We’ve got to go get ingredients to brew beer for our super secret tasting event coming up in November. Oops. Now all two followers know that something is happening sometime in November.

Oh, and I know I said I wouldn’t do a recap but I have to congratulate the Mars Science Laboratory Team for the successful landing of Curiosity. The post-landing party took down a keg of 1982 and a keg of Falcor White. Yep, The Neverending Beer Factory: fueling rocket scientists since 2011. 

2011 Year in Review

Yayyyyy, it's the end of 2011 and we're rolling into the apocalyptic 2012 with a roundhouse kick to the Mayan calendar's throat.

The beautiful year of 2011 was beautiful. Beautifully, we first unveiled our brewery name and logo to the masses via Facebook in spring. Since then we've been brewing non-stop for loyal followers, tasting events, and providing custom beers to catered parties. It was fun and exhausting (bottling Falcor White at 2:45am isn't that fun). Come...let's take a look at some HIGHLIGHTS!!!

• Debuted 1982, Violet Beauregard, Lost Woods, Lion-O, Cake Eater, Falcor White, The Shire, and The Christmas Beer.
• Dude, that's a lot of beer styles! We've spent 7.9e12 hours consistently trying to perfect a recipe before introducing it to the public. As hard as it is to keep adjusting a recipe, it's worth it.
• Provided beer for a NASA Jet Propulsion Lab party and the notorious San Martin Christmas Crush.
• The Jet Propulsion party had us make 3 custom beers based on the three successful field tests for the Mars Science Laboratory - an amber, an IPA, and a stout.
• We debuted the Christmas beer at the Christmas Crush and due to its popularity, we inducted it into our seasonal brew lineup. 
• Began kegging our beers for specific events.
• Held a sample tasting event at Disney Animation Studios.
• We brought cases of 1982, Violet Beauregard, Falcor White, Lion-O, Lost Woods, and The Shire for tastings and left without a single bottle.
• Brought on another crazy brewer to the team, Lance Summers.
• Invented time travel.

Yeah, so, it's been a great year for us. 2012 should be epically more epic. If all goes well, we'll be purchasing the brewery facility later next year. Neat, right? 

Our next big event is the annual 8-Bit Tournament on February 25th, where we will be doing sample tastings of many of our beers. Be there or suck.

Cheers everyone and happy New Year!

The Neverending Beer Factory

Oh, and one more thing...congratulate those brewers, Brandon and Joey, on the launch of their spacecraft, Mars Science Laboratory, which lands on the red planet on August 6th, 2012.

Now This Is How You Review a Beer...

Recently, our photographer, Joe Reiter, had the distinct pleasure of trying our Falcor White and our brand new Cake Eater (never officially offered to the public). Joe, best known for being the lead singer of the popular Los Angeles cover band, 88mph, is also known for his impressive palette. We receive a lot of positive reviews for our beer but this is one we just had to post.....


"I will begin by saying this: there are (almost) no words to describe Cake Eater. Below, find my impressions in gay-ish beer review format.

Cake Eater, by the Neverending Beer Factory

What can I say? I’m lost, now. If this was the only bottle of this stuff ever brewed, it would be one too many – man should not have glimpsed this beer, for it will forever be an obsession. This is the Prometheus of beers. Coffee, brown sugar? My brain screams “Caramel malts!” but that’s not enough to explain what’s going on here. How can this much complexity fit into a 12 ounce bottle? Black ales will run and hide when a bottle of Cake Eater enters the room; smoky, syrupy but not cloying – this is a porter, indeed, of titanic proportions. Plaid flannel shirt, leather boots and a big-ass axe kind of porter. Black as night, it sucks all the light from the room. But swirl it in the glass, and light shining through the legs has the color of molasses, and for the briefest moment as the glass empties there’s a hint of a rainbow comprising all the hues of brown running across the bottom. Infra-brown. Modest gravity, mild (15-25 IBU) perhaps 8% ABV?

(aside: Good fricking shit, man, NBF has got to sell this beer. I told the wife the story of Cake Eater (and the culinary intent in brewing it); she took her first sip as I finished the words, “...chocolate cake,” and she looked up at me with a “Holy crap, it’s cake!” look on her face. I had to sit down after drinking it. And now the bottle is empty. I am a cursed man. With a second bottle I could write a proper review...)
Falcor White, by the Neverending Beer Factory

Let’s face it, there is nothing about serious drinking that makes it okay to order a Hoegaarden anymore. And although it’s fine if your friend wants to pick up a sixer of Blue Moon at the Albertson’s, you’ll obviously have to stop hanging out with him immediately afterward. Amidst the many traditional approaches to hefeweizen brewing, one would expect certain flavors (coriander, orange, etc.) to be an inescapable component of the flavor of these types of brew. That’s why Falcor White is a punch in the face. In a good way. The label speaks of mugwort and wormwood (holy crap, don’t they make absinthe from that?), but that’s only the beginning. Just before the sip, there’s a hint of volatiles in the nose that speaks heavily of the wheat and barley that brought this beer to life; naturally, a whiff of aldehyde, so deliciously teetering on the razor’s edge of sourness, reminds us of the yeast that still converts sugars even as we drink it. This beer is a magical spell, that somehow reads the mind of the drinker: sip it quickly, and the back of the throat tells the story of bitter spices with a citrus note; savor it slowly, lying on the tongue, and there’s a richness to it that belies its light body and easy drinkability. That middle note, warmed by the mouth and lifted against the palate, makes it seem malty, almost bock-y in its layered complexity. What the $#@! are these guys doing with this recipe? You can ask them, but I don’t think they’re telling.

(aside: To begin with, I am unspeakably grateful that the world wavefunction collapsed in such a way that I was able to sample this brew at room temperature before finally enjoying it properly chilled. Okay, my friend, this is a clear winner. I think it should be entered into a festival or discussed with the proprietor of Lucky Baldwin’s for contention in their annual Belgian Beer Fest. No, I’m not kidding; bring him a tallboy and wear your best smile. And I wasn’t just yanking myself about that bocky comment – this could go all the way in that direction and come out shining. Could be interesting. And the wife is now convinced you make real beer, so that’s a hell of a thing. We’re two bottles deep on the Falcor sixer and that’s a dangerous thing. We had a “Cake sandwich”, with Falcor on both sides. If you think that didn’t do something good for the perception of that second bottle, you’re $#@!ing wrong. The Falcor review came spilling out at that point. Hmm; there could be something there – definitely gotta throw Cake Eater into the 5-glass flights you offer when you do brewery tastings.)


j."

You Can't Win Them All

Hi, we’re back.

In the past few years of brewing beer and researching ways to make our dream brewery a reality we’ve had plenty of success and some failures - I’m talking about bad batches, broken equipment, stained stovetops, pissed off wives, and broken promises. Occasionally, the planets align in a terrible way and the cosmos prevent you from succeeding.  Let’s take a look at the darkest time of the beer factory, in a non-chronological order, a time we will always remember as The Summer of 2011…….

Let’s start off by explaining a few things:

1.     We brew all of our beer in Pasadena or Santa Clarita. The problem here lies in the fact that we do not have thermal control capabilities in our Pasadena location and our Santa Clarita location was down for a solid month (the brewmaster there was in escrow and living out of a hotel).

2.     Summer can be ugly for brewing. The heat and the sun have negative effects on the hops and yeast. All fermenting beer must be kept cool and out of the light as much as possible.

Okay, did you get that? Summer = bad, and facilities…..well, what facilities?

So, a few months ago, we were commissioned to provide a lot of beer to a party. These beers were custom beers that were crafted to be brewed this one time and never again. We made custom names and labels for each of the three beers (a brown ale, an IPA, and a stout). They were tweaked, mass-marketed versions of beers we already had. While we don’t associate these beers with the Neverending Beer Factory, we did use our facilities to brew them and so this event ended up taking over all of our resources, thus, we have not had many of our staple beers available.

At the same time, we had our much-anticipated Imperial IPA, The Shire, finishing off it’s final fermentation on a dry bed of hop flowers. We had high hopes for this beer as it was not only our most expensive beer but also our most alcoholic (~10.5% ABV), and we tried it before it was completely carbonated and it was delicious. It was also our very first IPA <tear>.

Also, we had Lion-O fermenting in Pasadena and Violet Beauregarde all bottled up and ready for distribution. This was on top of the three beers we produced for the party. So, it seemed like things were going well and we were about to have a lot of product. That’s when the heat waves set in…

Lion-O stalled out. The yeast stopped consuming the fermentable sugars and we ended up with a low-alcohol beer. This could’ve been the result of a number of things but we suspect the heat played some part. We decided to repitch yeast with the hopes of getting back up to the right alcohol level, but that didn’t work. Now we’re left with a “light” version of Lion-O.

The Shire and Violet Beauregarde were held in a maximum-security facility for storage since they were at the (now defunct) Santa Clarita facility and needed to be stored somewhere while the escrow company got their shit together. The storage facility was not temperature controlled and Violet Beauregarde bottles blew up into a delicious, sticky mess of beer everywhere. Well, that sucks, but the Shire seemed to have survived this pressure differential and every bottle was intact. Okay – then maybe there’s still hope, right? Wrong! You see, The Shire was being deceptive all along…… rather than explode in a Seppuku like fashion like it’s cousin, Violet, it decided to go a different route and morph it’s chemical composition into a highly volatile and poisonous concoction that whosoever lay taste to it will surely parish and not have everlasting life” – The Shire 3:16.

The Shire was brewed with an inhumane amount of hops and due to their susceptibility to heat/sun, the beer turned into, well, basically Windex. As much as we’d like to recoup our costs of this expensively produced beer, our hearts could not, in good conscience, serve this to our thousands of loyal followers. Shut up. They’re there.

Now, it looks as though all of the beer factory’s brews have met their demise, but how about the three party beers? Surely, those turned out okay. Wellllll………the stout was good.

During the 2nd week of fermenting the brown ale, right before bottling, when all yeast activity should be complete and the airlock silent, we found a sudden resurgence of yeast activity. The airlock began bubbling and the beer was alive. If you didn’t believe in yeast ghosts before then maybe you should now because this wasn’t supposed to happen according to the brewing laws of physics. The explanation – like I said, yeast ghosts. Upon a nerve-wracking taste test we found the beer to be not-very-good and fairly bubblegummy. Was it drinkable? Depends on the person. If you’re 9 beers deep and you can stomach beers from BJ’s then yes, highly drinkable.

The IPA, our second IPA attempt after The Shire (rest in peace), turned out to be a mild IPA. You could even call it a hoppy amber ale. To the people that do not like IPA’s [raises hand], it was really good. To the IPA lovers expecting an IPA, they were disappointed. Well, whatever. Look, the timeline we had to produce these beers was such that we only got one shot of getting it right. There wasn’t going to be any tweaking of recipes. This was it. And technically, we didn’t even really have enough time. It is well known that to carbonate a beer (the bottle conditioning way) you need a minimum of 7 to 10 days. MINIMUM. By the time the beers had completed fermentation and hit their target %ABV levels, we had 6 days left until the party. We tapped as many brewheads as possible and there was no solution to our dilemma – we would not be able to carbonate the beer in time. This is a problem not just for carbonation, but when a beer has not completed its carbonating phase there is a lot of residual sugar that make the beer sickly sweet. So, we’re dead.

“But wait a second, Brewmasters, I thought the Neverending Beer Factory was a magic place where anything can happen if you believe with all your heart.”

Dammit, Little Timmy, you are right. Instantly we racked our powers of brewing and came up with an experimental idea (WE DON’T RECOMMEND IT) where we would fill the bottles almost completely to the top to increase pressure inside and force carbonation to go faster. We had no idea if it would work and it puts every bottle at risk of exploding….. but we like to live on the edge. If a bottle blew up and triggered all the other bottles to go then at least it would look cool amidst the flying shards of glass. So, yes, that’s what we did……

<flash forward 6 days>

We went to the party. The beers were delivered, announced, and people were routing through them with high hopes. Our stomachs were in knots. We knew the brown ale tasted horrible and so we fashioned a label calling it “Nightmare” and even put warning labels saying “Do Not Drink”. In short summary, the carbonation trick actually worked on the brown ale and the IPA. We were amazed to be honest. BUT, the IPA was so overly carbonated that you could only pour a frothy head and wait 30 minutes for it to bubble back into it’s beer-ish self. Okay, so it kinda worked. At least we now know it’s conceivably feasible to accelerate the carbonation phase. However, the outcome appears to be quite unpredictable.

There you are friends; the Summer of 2011. It’s not all bad, though, as we have a number of surprises coming towards the end of the year that we’ll be discussing later. If you’re interested in hearing the latest announcements or are wondering how you can order some of our Perfect beers, please send an email to brewmasters@theneverendingbeerfactory.com and we will add you to our mailing list.

Brewmasters

XoXoXoX

The 8-Bit Beer

I guess this is our first real blog, since the last one was kind of just an opener. But it is indeed quite a special post, you see, because we’re going to tell you about one of our favorite beers of all-time, the first beer we perfected, the impetus for the 8-Bit tournament, the undeniably delicious --- 8-Bit Beer.

It’s no surprise to anyone that we err on the side of maltier beers. While the IPA phenomenon has blown up in the past decade, we tend to be fans of the sweeter beers. No, we’re not talking about the girly umbrella style drinks. We’re talking about the strong Belgian Ales brewed by monks in Abbeys across the world. Think about it – these monks have no girls to chase around so what do they do? They perfect their beers. And it shows. Just pick up a bottle of Chimay or Brother Thelonius next time you’re at your local brew supplier to taste the characteristic Belgian Abbey Ale style.

The 8-Bit beer captures the color, texture, and flavor of a Belgian Ale. As the name hints, it is 8%ABV and is created using Belgian grains, High-Gravity Trappist Yeast, and Belgian candied sugars. If you’re unfamiliar with these, that’s okay. Our beer is proof that God created these ingredients to be blended together in a harmonious balance that monks typically bask in. However, this beer is strong. Strong, but smooth. If you prefer the lighter style lagery type beers then this is not the beer for you (thank you, Stone). Flavors of caramel, raisins, dates, butterscotch, burnt apples, brown sugar, biscuit, and rolled grains are easily identifiable. The complex flavor makes this beer one of our greatest pride and joys. It is quite special to us. So special that we have made it an exclusive beer to our 8-Bit Tournament. We only brew it around the time of the tournament so if you're interested, attend the 8-Bit Tournament or submit your order around the month of the 8-Bit tournament. Don't miss the opportunity to try this beer.

If you are interested in trying out this one-of-a-kind beer, come to the 8-Bit Tournament where Champions will become Immortals.
8-Bit Tournament Facebook Page - http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=108603239226575

Thank you everyone. Cheers!

The Neverending Beer Factory
~Where the beer never ends~


Brewmaster Brandon: “8 Bit Beer has a special place in my heart.  Not only because it tastes amazing, but also because it’s the first time we perfected one of our own recipes.  8 Bit Beer marked the start of the path to The Neverending Beer Factory, and I will be forever grateful for it.  Plus, it gets you good and drunk.”

Brewmaster Joey: “When I first tried this beer, I fell to my knees and wept like a little girl that entire night. Granted, that is typically my nocturnal routine, this time it was for the beer. I’ll admit, my favorite style of beer is the Strong Belgian Ales. So, the combination of that and my passionate obsession with Nintendo games makes this beer a triforce-piece of my soul. Too melodramatic? Try the beer. You’ll see what I mean.”